Last night..

Was a really hard one...I didnt even ask people if I can write about them but they girls I was with let me know, I should just change the names. I need to get myself time. I was discourage. I need to get it a new try. DANCE, singing, photos, rock climb, yoga,, being able to draw really well. What do I like about myself and than what in the future to like myself more. I had a hard one with this tonight, with all the boys I encounter.

So I want to thank all you of you last night...You pushed me in aways im not sure i could push myself. i still do need help, but I think there isnt must pushing anyone can do.

It begins with today...

WE are actually cleaning/yeah thank god/what we do is called an orginal sin/ There are two of me/ One likes things cleaned up and nice/well the other lets just say doesn't/ i WANT TO WATCH A MOVIE, NO, THE MOVIE AGAIN./ sHIT WE HAVE TO GET CLOTHES AND PRINT TICKET THO DUDE DONt FORGET/When you get high you piss me off, cause you forget things/ So if you stop forgetting things than I would like you, than there is the creative one, umm are these in the same? yes sometimes, but sometimes not.../lol ya right./ There you go with that uncomfortable dumb stupid again, your fucking smart, SO BE IT DAMN IT.

So did I kind of for a boy/Omg lame/Kate Nash, is fantastic/I THINK SHE A BITCH!!!, This is why I love this music, o that why we cant listen to it lol/I need a new filler move, lol/ Im an animal just like the rest of them/ Well that sucks./ You probably like everything because its attractive/ wow how shallow, lets upgrade my gray matter cause one day it may matter/im an idiot/ I dont care anymore, this is who I am./ I feel like an Amanda bynes Movie, its disgusting./Fuck is my drug, and im not his drug/i like to sing, or i want too/ and dance, i want to be like a little ballerina /I have a little dyslexia/ you dont want to pretty boy cause your scared he will break your heart again so you just fantasy about it? lol your too much girlie/Do i even like rap? i think I like the lyrics sometimes, but its boring, the same beats lame/We paid 136. something for that ticket we are not missing it you jerk/ Im sick of you, yes sick/finally we are fighting thank god/I wanted out of that relationship way before all of that shit/I knew when the summer of J/ loL This is going to be so funny, if you people actually read this/ Im addicted to something the drama of it all omg, he just not that into you, he is adorable/

Beyonce even experienced with her inner-self./my ego is my imaginary fan? lol He goes where ever I go/My dad said he even think i have a little dyslexia, I wonder how I find out if I do, it would be interesting to do stuff with/I cant study the dyslexia of the mind, wow, so he says no matter what i decide to do i will do it well?/ I dont feel like it right now. Dyslexia is a disability? Omg I wonder how weed would effect that mind? I wonder how the high effect the imagination/

This is taken from wikipedia;The World Federation of Neurology defined dyslexia as "a disorder manifested by difficulty in learning to read despite conventional instruction, adequate intelligence and sociocultural opportunity." ^[14]

we now that kind of sounds like me, its like when im thinking to fast i totally split up, lol im a dork.

B brought up a good point. What kind of girl are you?/Im going to make them work for me. Fuck the rest your u assholes. You can kiss mine/blam/lol/ By the way, Im fucking awkward/ Ok so yeah!!/ O and dont you worry, ill have my pot dot bikini./ You got to eat. Shower fuck...now/

I did all i said I do, but sleep is a must so lets go. I just formed a crush on an actor who i actually can see and talk too. Maybe im crazy which I knwo I am. I am rewatching that one movie I loved. Omg he is so cute, i hate it. why cant i have all of them..

Joseph Gordon-Levitt he is the cutest thing ever.

So...

Im not sure if i can or should be blogging about people. cause it gets into emotions./im love sick lol/I love it/got stuck at home again/the 3 little words everyone whats to hear is lets get naked lol/omg that is to funny. I didnt go again/im such a chicken.

ThIS is so much/ I love this, being you or becoming you is amazing/ Its fun to play with.....

more to come

Lol...

Yes!!! Ive changed thank god. It wasnt about me but now it is. Thank god!!!

Side note: Of those are going to be these/ i love its like all of me talking...Ha.

Lol yes, who cares I tried with TOM and I fucking learned something/Thanks you helped realize.

Fuck Ben harper is a good musician/I love it

Hell yes TL is going to help me with my style. I love it/This is going to be so much fun. I love to write. I need someone who will tell me its good, I just need to work on my grammar./omg this was Mr. Robert/Damn it David was the one that was just like me./I fucked that shit up./omg there like steps going down I love this. I am going to create words with my art. That is beautiful/ I wrote on it. I like the hippie classic women./ I should just write like how I really type and fuck them/

Time to analyze my pictures./even tho mom says I analyze everything/which is so true I do/I hate the way I talk/i want to talk with an accent/ I know I do, but I cant/Jack Johnson is the prefect looking man/omg/ lol this is so funny reading/ its like omg lol but it really like omg wow that is fucking cool/ and sucks/ I dont like talking like that lol, I love it. Its so funny/ I think everything is funny but that movie isnt funny. lol/its not going to be tonight? huh?/I sound like a baby/come grow a pair damn it/im cold, bath time now... yea, im excited i need a clean up/lol, i like looking dirty cause you look like a traveler/ omg peter pan, i want to see that so bad me too/lol i think people bang on my walls when its to loud lol i love music tho/ Music is amazing....Why didnt I realize this before, o wait i DID. HE IS ALL ON MY BLUE IPOD DUUMB FUCK/ lol I have to kept it as it is. i like it, i LIKE THAT i mess up on stuff and im not prefect, I think thats cute/ bUT aNDY you cant keep it, they just fantasies/ Its so true, thats why im boy crazy lol/ i just need to choice one and go with it. No i havent meet them all/ One could be better/??? better how???/ They are prefect just the way they are/ But I want to fix them/lol/ your funny/ I have 3 right now/lol/The things I say shock myself,lol/I love weed, shit who am I with tonight/TL, this is who I am, i talk alot. take it or leave it/omg the best song in the world. it just sounds so pretty,/ i hate pretty stories/ I like the dorky ones/ Im a dork lol/ Im awkward lol/ wow, yeah!! whoa who/ omg, im so stupid/ This is madness, but very therapeutic/ I cant spell at all, that is why this blog is so amazing for me/ I liek to do things right/ omg i love this song, it hurts bad/LAG, is going to ask me about SF, no she isnt she is going to ask me about what I said/ You know what im telling her the truth/ Im giving messages to my own self/ wow, im so stupid/ Well whatever, I need to go through this rings and jump, cause jumping could fucking Be fun/ so stop being a baby damn you/ I can get BJ? What the fuck/ you cant use names of people dude thats not cool, like seriously?/WOW, pP, Looks scruffy, but the kids has some fucking nice teeth/ i laugh because its testing me, lol/im funny/Am I stupid?/i THINK i MIGHT just be haha. shit its how I respond ok lets go/ bring it/i dont like the way i speak, I want an accent, i can just move and it will just happen/ Thats how your going to have to learn Spanish, traveling through south America and that sounds like a lot of fun/ So I need to learn Spanish if im going to go to south America/ Lol im testing my horoscope lol/Im doing a person cleanse lol/I love it/Im going to find another you/This is disgusting/ Omg, someone could be pregnant, this cleanse is going to hurt/this is going to hurt. really bad. Fuck it lets just do it.... lol here it goes

God damn roommates...

Im scared my dad wont like me for who I am. Whoever it is that I choose to be. Im scared of being judged either way. But I want to be this person. I like it, I like all this hippie stuff. I tried telling him without telling him. im scared. But I like it. C_8_H_10_N_4_O_2_ and C_12_H_30_O_2_. I remeber numbers well. I can talk too. Im going tonight. I already knew maybe meant maybe. Am I proving something? I think so...Creepy.

The hidden Message..

If you can detect the hidden message you should really do it... Im pretty should anyone can, But I guess you never know. Some people like to surprise others. How can I say I would love to be surprised, But is it a surprise if you ask for it. I think so, its a surprise because you surprised me you actually did it, and what I wanted actually happened. So do it and surprise me, Surprise me in away I would be so taken back. I think that means you need to get into my mind. So come visit and say hello, then we can see where it goes. Cause im sick of waiting, I just want to know so I can stop pretending./What? Im actually having fun...so take the leap.

Expresso/Let it be..

This one is dedicated to my new found interest and friend./There not just one thing/

So I was walking from my mothers work and I came across this news and review stand. The article on the front page was Sacramento's Best Baristas and it made me think of you and my new found interest in coffee. /So I grab it because I had to read the article so I could get my feet wet with information on the fruit bean.(And maybe so i could be inspired to write)/Well pretty much ive been reading thing and grab quotes with them and I dont know what to do with them. I was told by a smart women that i should be writing what those quotes mean to me, but, however; I never really listen or used that information and used it, until a co-worker suggested it to me. So here i am using the quotes I found. This could be fun, might get a little crazy but lets have fun. Get ready to hold on tight. ;)

"It's the barista's job to make sure that the bean is brought to its fullest potential." says Ashley Shock.

Which one do you want to be? The Barista or the bean?

"Coffee beans are actually the seeds from a fruit." Says Benza Lance

Wonder what that fruit taste like...

"How does a great coffee make you feel?"/reporter/"For that moment as it slithers down my gulet, it all just disappears. I see the light; it's all going to OK." says Lucky Rodrigues

That's the amazing high...

(o to be high...)

"Bananas. Eat Bananas, and drink coconut juice. it makes your hands steady as a surgeon's, and when you are trying to stay in control, your steadiness is the most important for making exceptional coffee." says Andrew Lopez

Throw in black beans, and avocado/that sounds like the prefect diet/Could you survive off of just these things?

side note: it might help too, when your talking to someone your interested in, so that way, your not shaking like a drug addict./thats no fun and makes you more nervous/ Shit I'm just a bundle of nerves./Duh

"To me, a barista is not someone that just pushes a button and lets the machine do all the work. The true barista is able to "dail in", determining the grind fitness or coarseness, the amount of grounds in portafilter, the pressure of your tamp and the time for extraction. Honestly, if you get a bad shot from me, it is nine times out of 10 my fault. And in this cause, I should be able to access the problem in the shot and make adjustments so i can redeem myself." says Sarah Walker.

True beauty of prefection, knowing the problem and at least attempting to change it to get the solution you so desire.

"Consistency is a virtue of being a good barista. How do you maintain it amid the hubbub of working every day in a coffee-house.?/reporter/When everything is broken down to the minutest detail during training, it all snaps together while working, and it becomes a dance and everyone around you is a partner-co-workers and customers. says Shannon Rucker."

That is the most beautiful way to explain it. Once you get that rhyme going your unstoppable.

"What's the best advice you've ever received about being a barista?/reporter/If you aren't proud to serve it, remake it. says Shannon Rucker."

Thats the fucking truth; so do it.

"Coffee is a fruit, and it's in methods like these that you really are able to taste all those natural sugars and sweetness that send the taste buds dancing."

If you took this idea and implied it to everything we did...I wonder what we would see.

"When espresso is poured directly over ice, it shocks the espresso, losing all its sweetness and bringing out the bitter qualities, says Kyle Baumann."

This is info for all of you who like it over ice...Hot and steamy is the best way./Why dont you take that to the sheets.

"Hawaii is the only U.S. state that grows, and exports coffee, says Armando Hermann."

Better reason why I should live there...

So let's keep C_8_H_10_N_4_O_2_ and C_12_H_30_O_2_ alive. So get high on it/life/ and see where it goes...