Movie Essay

I'm grateful to be writing you. I think I received the push I needed today. I never realized how much you need to think about yourself and what you want before you can have everything you want. You have to take baby steps.

Some times, I'm not sure I can do the things I want to do. Or may be I am just scared. It's scary to think you have that much power and control. You can have what you want. There are just so many options sometimes.

I guess it's time to go take that test. Am I ready? What if it's nothing? What does that mean? Or what if it comes up with what I've always thought? Then what?

I hope I didn't screw up that in class exam, crossing my fingers.  Whatever happens, never forget everything will work out. Plus this is something you need to work on, pull it together. The count down begins. Two weeks.

Just write it how you want to damn it and it will be prefect. It has to be.

BTW, studying can suck it, because I studied my butt off for 492 on every exam, but not for the last one we just took. Yea, I'm sure you guested it, I got my highest grade on the last one. Seriously? 

Puddle Puddle

What an interesting concept, having someone to cuddle and play with while out at night. When the music is hard and the lights are trippin you out,  human contact is soothing and feels amazing. But  O no, no love puddle of mine. I make river happens. I'm not trying to be the one you kick it with in between sets as your play toy, that's not how I roll. I want something more. We are big deals around here. Unless we are getting paid, we don't just touch anyone for no reason. If I'm touching you, it's because I want to, and like it, no matter what state of mind I'm in. I want you to feel good, duh. And touching is a powerful thing.

Arm candy? Ha ha, I can do that in my sleep. Plus, I'd rather be warm when I go out; let's save that for the bed room, please. I'm not hatin, rock it if you got it girl. Been there done that; that's not how I roll. Give me more of challenge, please. I want something that makes me nervous excited and will put me in my place when need be.

Clearly, I need to teach you a thing or two. I see it now. There is no limit to my love, but it's comes with a cost. Nothing is for free babe. You have to work for what you want. Working gets tiring, so there may be a limit to the amount of effort I'm willing to put in though.

This weekend was eye opening, but I guess its time to move onto the next one :(. I hate waiting for it to come, it takes so long to find one I want. Thanks to all who help made it possible, it ended up being prefect! 

Me time

What is me time anymore? Does your you time consist of you on your computer? Well if so, I'm pretty sure you have facebook open on one of those tabs. Does that qualify as you time than? I'm not sure either, that is why Im asking. I like to think I get a lot of me time on the bus; get your mind out of the gutter. But it's true. Except for the occasional creepy old man, not to many people bother me on the bus. It could be, because I have my headphones in and my nose is in something bond.

I think reading has to be the best me time ever. And hey, sometimes it does turn into "me" time. I don't know why reading does that. Is it that you're comfortable and curled up? Or is it because you're so relaxed and what's more normal than finding Nemo in such a state?

Can you do "me" time wrong by the way? You might not be able to do it wrong, but you can do it better, that is for sure.  Where is my manual? I so need one.

Enjoy your "you" time!! I hear it has lots of benefits. 

Dirtybird BBQ

The season opener happen this past weekend in the park. This photo sums up the experience I had. 

 

Great family and friends, lots of laughs, great music, beautiful people... Playing in the park is always fun but it was more fun with all those I hung out with. I got to see a friend I hadn't seen in months. Reunited with old friends and meet some new ones. I even saw someone from one of my classes, who's name I didn't know until Sunday lol. I love San Francisco. 

Families were enjoying the day party as well, kids blowing bubbles, hula hooping and playing catch.  Sometimes I feel like people at these events are just finding their inner child again. A child was asleep hanging from it's mother's body, one would of thought, "They must of feed that kid a special cookie." OMG, that sounded crazy, I promise I would never do that. The development of a child's brain is to perish and plus the first five years are the most important time during the maturation of the human brain. But seriously, no one would give their kid a special cookie, would they? Or maybe the kid was just tired? I don't know how that child could of slept through that. I guess, it will forever be a mystery to me. 

Ok, the down side of the party in the park was that the line for the bathroom, aka porta potties, were crazy long. Peeing in  the bushes was just unavoidable, I'm sorry. I just couldn't help myself, :/.

After the stumble to the bus, the party commenced in the little blue house. With the help of everyone, dinner was made and we rejoiced about the recap of the day. 

Until the next one!! 

Vessel

O, how you found a place in my heart. Definitely not the best venue by far, but it looks nice in there. It's like going down the rabbit hole as you walk down the steps into the dark purple abyss. As the music bumps and the people sway, you grab your drink and fall in sync. The music was on point all night. The DJ's were awesome!! They keep the crowd dancing all night.  Last nights crowd might have played a role in why it was so enjoyable. It was nice to see some similar faces. It was also nice to meet some new ones!

The electronic music scene is like a little community. I love it. Good people with great energy who just want to dance and enjoy the bangin beats. They all recognize one another, dancing while saying hello and catching up with each other all through out the night.

Going on this outing had to be the most fun I've ever had at vessel by far. Thanks to all who helped make that possible. 

Don't mistake my kindness for weakness...

Who doesn't love to please people or themselves? And how do we proceed with this desire? Sometimes you just want to help or be there for someone. I love to go over and beyond when time permits for those who are in my life.  Showing someone you care about them is the best gift anyone can give. Little gestures, such as rides, dinner, and sessions are appreciated more than words can say. Gestures should never go unnoticed as we all been taught.

People who tend to go out of their way for someone or something, normal do it from the kindness of their own heart.  Other times it is because there is something to gain. However, If I'm spending my free time with you, I doubt it is because I'm gaining something. It's because I genuinely think you're  a good person who I find fascinating. I would love to add some kind of element to your life as well. A part of being human is being social and connecting. We should embrace these times to the best of our ability.

The most annoying thing is when someone tries to tell you don't care. Ever stop to think that, that person did care just not as much as you wanted them too? Or maybe, they just cared in a completely different way. But whatever the case, if you need to know the answer, grow a pair and fucking ask.  A good person who has a heart and cares would tell you the truth. Lying is one of the worse evils in my eye, but  it's not lying if you never asked. Not everyone can be as honest and open as yourself, never forget that.

If you care about someone, you should try and show it. Tomorrow is never promised. Embrace and live your life while cherishing those around you. You might not realize how special they are, until it's to late. You shouldn't be afraid to tell someone you're thinking about them. Always remember karma will find you.

Epiphanies are awesome..

Have you ever realized that you were not playing your A game? Ever chase something so much and never get close to it? Well yea, I just realized how low I have stepped. I've spend months going after the same thing and Not seeing any progress.

Is it because we let it take over our mind? Or is because we don't put positive energy out there about the subject? Or, does it just so happen, the thing you are chasing you just aren't going to get? Sometimes, it's time to let it go or  let it morph into something different than you'd envision.

Girl, if you are not respecting yourself worth while you're chasing it, it's time to let it go. You're a prize, babe, so act like. Some would say, “You're so fascinating!” ;)

Thanks for the title Darwin

How well do you play the game?

Have you ever wondered about social interaction? How do we attract people? Once we get them attracted and heading our direction then what happens? Many people will say the game has just begun. Do you have game? How do we get game? All these questions were flooding around in my mind. The thing that marveled me the most was wanting to know when the game was being played on me.

So I looked back into my pass, and thought about all the guys I ever liked. I began talking about it with girlfriends, about some of our guy friends and their game. Then I realized I needed to get educated on human social interaction. The book, The Game by Neil Strauss, happened to have come up. That is when I  went on my mad search to find this book that would lead me into the world of the game. I ran over to Green Apple on clement to grab the book I so desperately needed.

First things first, this book looks like the bible, seriously,  with its leather binding and gold termed pages. Every time I had my book out on the bus or on the corner at the cafe, someone would ask, "Are you reading the bible?"

I'd respond with a laugh and say, "No, but to some people this book is the bible." And it is true, to some The Game,  is their bible. Many of us would call these guys players. According to Urban Dictionary, a player is,  A male who is skilled at manipulating ("playing") others, and especially at seducing women by pretending to care about them, when in reality they are only interested in sex, or a guy who is sustaining supposedly exclusive relationships with multiple girls simultaneously. I'm pretty sure many of you have had some experience with such a man or woman. O, and don't be fouled men, women can play the game just as well.  

Anyways, this book is kind of creepy. I'm not going to lie, this shit does work. I've experienced it and witnessed it happen right in front of me. The book makes some interesting points. Through out all my fun times, I saw some of the theories in action.I wanted to share the experience and concepts. 

Of course, the book starts off by quoting the old saying,  Don't hate the player, hate the game.  Which is a solid point, because we all play it, no matter if you notice it or not. It can be suttle or outlandish, but its there.

"A man has two primary drives in early adulthood: one toward power, success, and accomplishment; the  other toward love, companionship, and sex.'' Do you have to have both of these to be a whole man? Maybe, but who is to say. I say bring on the love, because success will come if you just work for it. 

"A pickup artist must be the exception to the rule. You must not do what everyone else does. Ever" Who doesn't want to be the exception to the rule? I think this is something to live by, no matter what. You always should be doing something someone else isn't. If you're not, where is the fun?

If you are trying to be a pick up artist or play the game, there are a few things you need to learn. "All your emotions are going to try to confuse you, so know right now that they cannot be trusted at all. You will feel shy sometimes, and self-conscious, and you must deal with it like you deal with a pebble in your shoe. It's not part of the equation." This goes with anything you do. You cannot take things personal or let your emotions get the best of you. Keep it cool. 

When if comes to attracting people to you, you need to  make a plan of attack and work it out. "FMAC- find, meet, attract, close." Being well groomed is a step in the right direction, btw. 

It quit fascinating, these guys have created theories, which actually have science behind them. Its kind of creepy. "The peacock theory is the idea that in order to attract the most desirable female of the species, it's necessary to stand out in the flashy and colorful way.' Lol, seeing this in action at an event was too much. We can all see through your stupid attires, big cowboy hat with a necklace and Hawaiian shirt, not cute. 

Just so you know, the pros wait to hit on girls, about 8 to 10 minutes. And the subject to which who is receiving the compliment has to earn it. Wow, so when did compliments not come freely? Or are compliments and being hit on two different things? I don't know, but you could of fouled me. If you're interested in a girl, tell her she looks nice, duh. 

But how do we know if someone is interested in us, you ask? Well, we look for IOI, indicator of interest., which  is when a girl ask if you're single, what your name is, body language, and etc. If you're given three, you're in. So come on give those IOIs. "As soon as you ask yourself whether you should or shouldn't that means you should." So smile at the girl from across the room and walk on over. 

The best advice one can get from reading, The Game, is confidence. "You have to act like you are the prize." Babe, that is because you are, work it out. You have nothing to lose, only something to gain.

Remember to be up front with a woman. "Women actually want sex as mush as-if not more than-men;they just don't want to be pressured, lied to or, made to feel like a slut." This is so true. Keep that in mind. I rather be with a jerk who I know is not the best of guys than a nice fake guy that lies. Be real, love,   if you want to just have fun, let a girl know. You'd be surprised by what you find. But if you want something real, then that is all good too. But keep your intention true and known, because you might get just what you need. She might be the freak in the sheets but classy in the streets.

Never the less, The Game, is an interesting read. If you're social awkward or just need some help, there is some good advice in that bible like book. But there are only a few big points to know; be yourself, and have confidence. The one important thing you need to know about the game is, it's always changing. The best player is the one that can adapt his game  to any situation and handle it calmly with swag. Keep it classy San Francisco, and work it out.

The Andy show

Sounds kind of self absorbed, but I promise it's not. It's hilarious and entertaining. It's the effects of coffee on my performance. This show happens at least three times a week down at the readers cafe. Want to see a girl take it to the next level? Give her a cup of blue bottle and she won't shut up. Hey, she might even do tricks, especially if you tip.

 
Behind the counter, you'll find her dancing to the music in her head, with the occassional singing or talking to herself. If you've seen her without her coffee, times that by ten. If she wants to run a mile a minute, imagine all the crazy things she will say and or do. Have you heard that you can't have anymore coffee? Or I'm about to take your cup, even though you haven't finished even your first cup yet? Coworkers must love and hate me. But hey at least I keep them smiling.

Whoever said caffiene isn't a drug you need to check yourself or check out the Andy show.

Spring Break SF'11

I survived my spring break!! OMG!! No, but on a serious note I had an amazing spring break! Thanks to all  who help make it happen. I had a blast of a time. From dollar drinks to giants games, what a week. But from all the fun comes many things, hopefully only good ones ;).

To recap, You always have to stock up on lots of energy for a week long wild break. That's how it started off.  Day 1, I caught up on some sleep.

Day 2, well that was a little more interesting to say the least.  Have you ever had your finger milked? Lol, I learned how to milk a goat, no big deal. But be careful, because goats get fierce.

Then off to Madrone I did go. Ha ha, what a night. The music was ok, the crowd not my style, but I worked it. I got a free shot of tequila from the bartender, which is my fav, cant complain. The bar had a good vibe. I would go back just cause the bartender was cool, o and to see the art.

Day 3,  When I woke up, I was glad I had an earlier night than I was expending. Off to the holly cow I would go, that's where the pieces would come together. There is a strong community within the world of music and I want to be apart of it. I learned to appreciate again the holly cow, for it's maze appeal and big dance floor.

Day 4, Castro time!! I love the castro. The people in the castro know how to have a good time. The Q bar is the place to be. It's a little on the small side, but their smoking session is nice. You can have a conversation while still hearing the music. But it does get crowded, and at that point its time to take the party else where. Stopping to get some five finger discount candy is always adventurous and way to get the party going. Thank god, for early nights.

Day 5, Make that money. After a hard day of work, the best thing to do is handle your business. Yet again,  the plant never proves you wrong. The food was good and  it was nice to see things don't change much. It is fun to learn people stories and hear their take on things. Always, be humble.

Day 6, Rock climbing. Omg, it was so awesome and much needed. I hope I found me a rock climbing buddy, because it needs to happen.  Can't forget my other family, I got to kick it with the buddies,  that house is the place to be.  The inner Richmond is treating me right so far, but I miss downtown, getting home from being out was a lot easier.  O, but I don't miss the crack heads. Kids, crack is whack.

Day 7, Since business didn't get taken care of last time, that had to happen. Then off to watch the game, I did go. I got to chat with good friends. I'm not into baseball at all, unless it is a game at the statduim, but my girl loves it. I had to support it. The funny thing is I saw our waiter at two events ha ha. I should of said hi, but I'm kind of shy. That bubble needs to break, because shy doesn't get you anywhere in this cold cruel world babe.

Day 8,  Make that money, and take it to the park. I hung out at Dolores for a little while. I was super annoyed though, because the sun went away. It turned out to be beautiful though. I got to hoop on a hill while it was windy, jamming to my own beats. It was beautiful.  I had a blast. Off to the club, I would go. Meet some cool people. I felt like I was in the presence of a rock star. Rock star training is fun. Number one rule, never pay for anything. Well, go girl, work it out. But number one rock star rule for myself, dark whiskey=bad. I don't care if its free.

Day 9, I missed CNS, :(. O well, I had a blast with the bestie. The morning was a prefect start to my day,  both being hung over making breakfast together and than giving you a massage. I love making you feel good. Too bad, we couldn't cuddle together. Would that be awkward? I think not.

The night came, and the end up is where we all meet. The best outside patio ever!! Wish they weren't so strick there, because it would be the best place to go ever. Good place to sit and chill with everyone. You can see the whole crowd from any place outside. The inside is awesome too, with it's round bar. Always feel safe when the main man roles through, I need to learn to stay longer. But the reasons why I leave are pretty good, aka, sleep and work. O wait, day 9 and 10 became one. Yea, I didn't sleep, well I didn't feel like it. Thats how I get down. I pull through and get my stuff done.

But before we get there. I had a great time with everyone. Another happy birthday wish out to the birthday girl! What can I say I just like to dance. But I went home early again, I had to work. I could of keep going though. But when the clock says almost 4 am, its time to go. Thanks girlie for coming with me. I loved our bonding moment. I cant wait until the next one.

After working it out at the cafe, public works was in effect. I can't say enough how much I love this venue. If I could combine public works and the leather venue together, I so would. Magical places. The art in public works is amazing, umm, the whole venue is a piece of art. I love it. The night had the prefect ending to my break. I love you, you're the best!!

That about sums, up my break. Now time to hit the books. Always learning and growing.

Thanks to pathos versus logos for the pressure to keep going. Check out this blog, http://pathosvlogos.blogspot.com/, I promise I wouldn't lose my love for blogging to party. Techno music just rocks!

Yea for good friends. Im off to being the best person I can. I have good mentors and people I look up too in my life. I hope you have the same. This comes with everything in life though. You have to work for what you want. So start to work, babe. To quote GL on FB, "You will make it very far. Just know how to "sell" yourself." So true, so true. Time to do work!